The Prettiest Skirt Ever

So I was getting ready to leave the house this morning for my gruelling hour and a half bus ride to school, when I was suddenly overcome by a desire to trade in my normal school uniform of blue jeans and tee-shirt with something just a little bit more girly. Now, it’s not that I’m not normally a girly kind of girl, but living in Vancouver where it seems to rain 8 months straight out of the year makes it difficult to dress in anything that isn’t waterproof or at least warm and snuggly (especially when your main form of transportation just doesn’t show up or decides to pass you by because it’s full, leaving you standing umbrella-less in the pouring rain).

So I opened my closet and decided that due to the fabulously warm September weather we’ve been having, that I would wear The Prettiest Skirt Ever. Now this is no ordinary skirt, as the name implies. It’s white, around calf-length, and quite flowy. I wear it occasionally during the summer, but I had never worn it to school before. I quickly pulled it on along with a pink tank and black sweater and I was out the door.

I immediately realised the effects of my skirt: My bus driver smiled at me, everyone on the bus was unusually nice towards me, I even had two separate guys go out of their way to hold open doors for me. I had decided that The Prettiest Skirt Ever was a gift from God, and that I would wear it every day for the rest of my life. I never bothered to wonder why it had never had this effect when I’d worn it on other occasions.

So the day goes by and I get to my paleontology course that I’m taking as an elective. In addition to it being a fabulous course because of the fact that I have a not-so-secret crush on my gorgeous British professor, it’s also the first class I’ve had in years with Best Friend which makes it quite exciting indeed. Best Friend is already sitting down when I get there, so I put my bag down, and immediately launch into the story of The Prettiest Skirt Ever and the effect it has been having on my day. As I’m telling her the wonderfulness that is my life, I go to sit on the chair, and (as most girls do when they’re wearing a skirt), go to smooth the fabric over my butt. It’s at this point that I feel a bit of a ruffle on my butt. I try to smooth it out, and to my complete horror realise that the second layer of the skirt (and the only solid layer, as the first layer is completely see-through with a pattern of holes in it) has managed to somehow crawl up my leg and bunch at my waist!

PEOPLE WEREN’T BEING NICE TO ME! THEY WERE LAUGHING AT ME BECAUSE MY ASS WAS EXPOSED!

I wanted to die. I wanted to fall off my chair, scrunch up in fetal position, and die. Best Friend just wanted to fall off her chair, scrunch up in fetal position, and laugh. I may have to reconsider Best Friend’s status as best friend.

In fact, I have decided to implement a No-Skirts-At-School rule that is effective immediately, and to stick with jeans. After all, blue jeans are a girl’s best friend, and apparently I need a new best friend.